Funny: April 2007 Archives

Inventing the Muon

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Muon Physics Advanced Laboratory Instrument by TeachSpin I am not precisely certain that I believe in this fantastical entity known as the "muon". I mean, really. It is like a couple physics majors had a drunken IMversation:
Dweeb: Yah, so like, cows, man. Dork: ...wtf-ever. Are you done with the labs? Can I get your data? Dweeb: You mooch. Help me w/my senior project and I'll give you my data. Dork: ...ok? Dweeb: So, cows. Like, I was thinking, invent a new particle. A cow-shaped particle. Dork: ... Dweeb: Yeah, and we can design elaborate machinery to light up and make clicking noises and construct appropriately logarithmic charts of random data to support these cow particles. Dork: ...how is this less work than real physics? Dweeb: JFC, COWS. *** Dork has gone idle. Dweeb: LOL We can call them moo-ons.
And that was basically how that happened.
My lab manual for the course I'm taking on climate and waters (Philip Suckling's Studies in Weather and Climate) on tornados rated F5 on the Fujita Tornado Scale:
F5: 261-318 mph Incredible Tornado. Incredible damage: Strong frame houses lifted off foundations and carried considerable distance to disintegrate; automobile-sized missiles fly through the air in excess of 300 ft (100 m); trees debarked; incredible phenomena will occur.
Editorial comment: Needs more exclamation points. :) Edit: Fine. Because you all have no imaginations, this is what was in my head:
INCREDIBLE TORNADO! INCREDIBLE DAMAGEZ!!! STRONG FRAME HOUSES NO LONGER IN KANSAS TOTO!!!!1!1! SERIOSLY WERE TALKING LIKE CAR-SIZED SHIT FLYING AT YOU!!!!! TREES DEBARKED! THEY CAN NO LONGER BARK PPL!!! INCREDIBLE PHENOMENA WILL OCCUR!!!! POSSIBLY PSYCHICS!!!! ONLY $39.95!!!!!

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    This page is a archive of entries in the Funny category from April 2007.

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